Are You Responding to Requests to Connect Hours After Finishing Work?

​It’s after 7.30pm, the weekend or midweek, either way, you are not at work. You’ve finished work for the day, or at least, you intended to. The laptop might be closed, but your phone is still in your hand or next to you on the sofa...then your phone pings.​

A notification appears.​

​•A connection request.​

​• A LinkedIn message.​

​• An email.​

​• A Teams notification.​

​A quick check turns into ten minutes. Ten minutes becomes half an hour. Before you know it, you are responding to messages, accepting requests, replying to emails, and thinking about tomorrow’s tasks. ​

​Sound familiar? (I confess I am definitely in that category and it's work in progress but getting better).​

​For many of us, technology has blurred the line between work time and personal time. We are more connected than ever, yet many people are finding it harder to truly switch off. The challenge is that these small actions rarely feel significant.​

• Accepting a connection request takes seconds.​

• Replying to a quick email feels productive.​

• Responding to a message seems helpful.​

​However, when these habits happen every evening, every weekend, and every holiday, they gradually eat into the time we need to rest, recover, and recharge.

​Ask Yourself​

• How often do you check work related notifications after your working day has ended?​

• When was the last time you spent an evening without looking at your work emails?​

• Do you feel uncomfortable if messages remain unread until the next day?​

• Have you ever picked up your phone to relax and ended up working instead?​

• Do you tell yourself “I’ll just have a quick look”?​

​If you answered yes to several of these questions, you are certainly not alone.

​What Are You Paying For That Connection?​

​The issue is not the connection request itself, the issue is the hidden cost.​

Every time we mentally step back into work mode, our brain has to shift gears again. We remain partially switched on, we continue thinking about work issues, conversations, deadlines, and responsibilities.​

​Over time this can lead to:​

• Feeling mentally tired despite not doing physical work​

• Difficulty switching off at bedtime​

• Increased stress and anxiety​

• Reduced concentration​

• Feeling permanently “on call”​

• Less quality time with family and friends​

• Reduced energy for the things that matter to us​

  
  

Many people do not notice this happening because it becomes normal.

​The Permission We Forget to Give Ourselves​

Sometimes the hardest thing is not setting a boundary with other people it is setting a boundary with ourselves.​

• Giving yourself permission to leave that connection request until tomorrow.​

• Giving yourself permission to reply during working hours.​

• Giving yourself permission to protect your evening.​

​The world rarely falls apart because an email waited until the morning.

​A Small Challenge​

​This evening, before you accept another connection request or reply to another work message, pause and ask yourself:​

“Does this genuinely need my attention right now?”​

If the answer is no, consider leaving it until tomorrow.​

• Notice how that feels.​

• Notice what thoughts show up.​

• Notice whether you feel relief, guilt, anxiety, or freedom.​

​Awareness is often the first step towards change.

​A Gentle Reminder​

​Success is not measured by how available you are.​

• Being dedicated does not mean being accessible 24 hours a day.​

• Looking after yourself is not selfish, it is essential.

​The people who sustain themselves over the long term are not always the people who work the longest hours. Often they are the people who recognise when it is time to step away, recharge, and return with renewed energy.​

​So tonight, if it’s after 7.30pm, perhaps the connection request can wait?​

​Your well-being should not.

​Make Your Self-Care Inevitable!​