The Day we Realise Our ‘Coping’ Is Actually us Crumbling

Have you ever had a time when you thought coping was a badge of honour? You could juggle deadlines, manage crises, and keep your emotions neatly filed away, all while smiling and saying, “I’m fine.” Everyone thought you were strong. In truth, you felt you were slowly unravelling behind the mask.​​Coping can feel like control, but sometimes it’s just endurance wearing good make-up. In health, social care, and education, we’re praised for keeping it together but rarely encouraged to ask what “together” really means. Our bodies know before our brain does: exhaustion, snappiness, foggy thinking. That’s our system whispering, “You’re not coping, you’re crumbling.”​​It took me years to realise that coping shouldn’t mean surviving in silence. True resilience isn’t about holding everything; it’s about knowing when to let some things go. ​

When we replace perfection with honesty, we create space for recovery, and we model the kind of wellbeing we want for others.​​​Insight:​In caring professions, coping can quietly become crumbling. We mistake endurance for resilience and busyness for purpose.​​Reflection:​​1. Notice the signs, when coping becomes numbing, you’re losing connection rather than gaining strength.​​2. Ask yourself: “Am I surviving today or sustaining myself?”​​3. Give yourself permission to pause. A five-minute check-in can help to prevent a five-week burnout.​​​Reframe it:​Coping is temporary. Thriving requires tending to your own needs with the same compassion you give others.​​Question: How do you know when you’ve crossed the line from coping to crumbling?​

Make your Self-care Inevitable!​